I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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