Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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