Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
