he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
