You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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