I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
