I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
