is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
