Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
