i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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