Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
