thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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