There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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