p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
