I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
