what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
only you would photoshop your dick
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize