It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
