well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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