Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
