Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
