Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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