Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
