plz talk dirty to me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
