she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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