Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's blow job season.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
