Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize