Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I will be naked everywhere
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
