Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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