If i come over, it means nothing
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
