I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
