my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
