That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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