Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
