If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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