I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
