Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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