i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
