I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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