I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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