We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
