Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Where is the hickey?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
