how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
