i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
where are my eyebrows?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
