Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
