Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
