dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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