Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish there were birth control emojis
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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