I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
