You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
