Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
