I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize