does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
