they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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