thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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