Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
