why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
