Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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