dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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