So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
